Breaking the Eclipse fever

I was the original fan, I loved the twilight series way before they came out as movies. So now that Twilight and New moon fever has passed, were faced with Eclipse fever. Heres my viewpoint :)

5 reasons i wouldn’t date Edward Cullen:
1.I am slightly mad and if he could read my mind i think he would kill me for the sake of humanity
2.Jasper would be better suited for me as he looks as if hes just come out of an asylum
3.I have a phobia of being watched in my sleep
4.He can play the piano better than me and I would be jealous of the competition
5.He would run away from me and no amount of stalking or chasing would enable me to find and catch him

5 reasons I wouldnt date Jacob Black:
1. When you think about it, that would be beastiality
2. He can turn into a doggie. Now that is cool. However I would not make out with my dog
3. Although his warmth would be nice in the winter, hed be an irritation in the summer. Like a walking heater
4. He would live all the way in La Push. I live in South africa. I think that may be an issue
5. In all honesty, his "buffness" isnt really appealing at all. Theres something about a walking brick wall that does not blow my coke can to smithereens.

Now isnt that refreshing? Love the story, hate the fan girls