5 things i dont like about people

Heres a nice sweet list of things i hate about people ^^

1. Back stabbers... you know, the ones who pretend to be your friend then spill your secrets to the world?
2. Being stuck up Theres just no pleasing some people! Like my parents... when i try do something nice often it ends in screaming
3. No respect Like the immature guys at my school... they think that looking up your skirt when you go up the stairs is just sooo acceptable. Dick heads. And girls! Geez girls... when someone has a girlfriend, dont try and steal the guy, just wait until she screws up with him and he leaves her!
4. Jocks, Skanks and Douschs. Im sure a lot of you blog nerds can relate to these scum of the earth idiots. you know the ones who think that just because they look good and eat nothing but a grape for their main course they rule the world. Cant wait to see them come to me for a job sometime in the future.
5. heartbreakers. enough said ;(

list of things to do these holidays

well its the summer holidays so i decided to make a list of things i wouldnt usually do due to laziness, lack of opportunity or just plain not brave enoughness (its a word i swear! ^^) so here it is... hopefully ill get them done this next month (: wish me luckyness

be there for danny when he needs me (always do)

have a kiss under the mistletoe (done)

have my midnight new years kiss

have girly sleepovers (done)

have a beach date

go to a massive kick ass party

go out for a day underwearless (done ^^)

do something life threatening

get my new perfume

not eat chocolate.... for a week

write a new song

camp on the balcony

stay under water for two minutes

not dye of underwaternessocity

dance at least once a day

work and earn money (worked... never earned money!)

go wedding ring shopping (done)

get a light saber

watch the sun set with dan

go to a concert (done)

watch the new twilight movie

get very badly hurt and use it to my advantage

go skinny dipping with somebody

hug a sheep

finish kou jong on the hardest level

prank call jamie

make something i can wear

go out dressed totally wack

dye my hair

shower with megs (done!!!??!!)

Freedom <3

had a very free feeling day... probaly cus i turned off my phone so i had no phone calls or smses or anything. all i did today was paint, draw, write, run and swim. so it was basically just embracing my creative side... was very nice. i kept myself so busy that i forgot to eat lol so thats probaly not the best thing but ill have a nice dinner to make up for it ^^

Gawsh christmas is so soon and i didnt even realise... how crazy is this? Iv got a week and iv hardly even shopped =O

Anyways, i has to go bye bye fellow bloggeries ^^

Nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwse hair

Waaaa... My best friendaling in the entire world just smsed me and said shes moving schools ... So bumming. No more bathroom dancing inbetween classes, irritating teachers, scaring fellow pupils or bunking pe... sigh ='( so unfair. oh wells.. we is working at the vet on monday so im a slightly happy pandaroo about that ^^

Blog three of today

This blog is yet another thing i hate about myself example. Except with a twist. its more "reasons why i hate things about these other people" here goes.

JODI: Im really really jealous of you as a person. Everybody loves you and everybody wants to be your friend. why cant i just be more like you? I dont like you because you made a move on the person that means the most to me. the one i love the most in the entire world. and i guess im just scared that hes going to realise how much better a person you are than me and leave me for you.
JAMES: The reason i dont like you is that you dont like me because i dont get on with some of your friends. which i dont really think is really fair since it doesnt achually involve you but i guess i mainly get upset because nomatter what, dan always stands up for you. and i guess i wish he'd feel the same about me.
JESS: You guys have been friends your entire lives.im scared that the letter you wrote to dan is going to get to him and hell see me for what i really am.. why im upset is because iv managed to convince myself that you are right about all the stuff you wrote. about him being so happy with me and all that. because i kinda feel like its true.
Repented.

18 Things i hate about myself

After going through things i hate about myself in my head and just keeping there for the last fifteen and a half years, ive decided to write a list.

1) ANGER: i am an angry BITCH. Everything sets me off... i cant help it. when something upsets me i get really really angry (see the last blog entry) and freak out. which leads me to number two
2) FREAK OUTS: its all i do, doesnt matter who the person is or what theyve done to me (whether theyve done anything or not is beside the point) I just start screaming and crying. it isnt a tantrume, just a freak out
3) TRUST: now, the wierd thing about this one is that its not my boyfriend or anyone else i dont trust, its myself. I cant trust myself in certain possitions, or in many different possitions in fact. Like i cant trust myself to keep dan happe because of the first two items on this list.
4) SELFISHNESS: As dan so often tells me, im selfish. i guess he is right because sometimes i admittedly DO think of myself before everyone else... its usually when im angry.
5) SENSITIVITY: when someone says something a little bit harsh to me, often i throw it completely out of perspective and end up a tearful wreck on the floor. dying inside for some stupid reason
6) BITCHYNESS: When the above happens, from that moment onwards i am a complete and utter BITCH. and im not using that term lightly either.. if they talk to me ill shut them out and whenever someone brings them up i cant help but put in a little horrible comment.
7) STUBBORNNESS: When im fighting with someone, i can be really really stubborn. like sometimes even if something is my fault ill deny it and carry on fighting because im scared of admitting defeat, it just isnt in my nature. but this part of me isnt too bad because sometimes i can give in and appologise. i just need to do it more often.
8) FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET: when someone does me wrong, i get really angry. if that person really means a lot to me, i forgive them instantly for whatever theyve done as long as they are sincerely sorry about it. But the thing is that even though Iv forgiven them, often i have a problem with acchually getting over what theyve done or said. even though sometimes i have no problem with this. it depends on what the person says or does.
9) DRAMA: im a total drama queen. Often its not even intentional but it just kinda comes to me. especially when fighting with dan, we are both very dramatic as we scream hurtful things at eachother.
10) OVER THINKING: Heres the scenario... Someone says something small that doesnt really mean much. But in my mind i twist it and turn it and dont stop thinking about it until i throw myself into a downward spiral and just think far too much about it until i upset myself to the point of suicidalness.
11) GULLIABLE: I can be really gulliable sometimes, believing people and their lies. which often results in me getting hurt from my own stupidity
12) LOVE: Most people wouldnt consider this a fault, but sometimes i do. when i develope a good relationship with people, i love them and care about them so much that when they grow or change or when its time to move on i cant. i just feel left behind and neglected.
13) GRUDGES: After all the anger and upset, the grudge gets held. Everything you say can and definately will be used against you with me
14) FEAR: im a complete wuss. and i dont mean with the dark and things like that, im not scared of the dark. This has two meanings. the first is my fear of myself and the second is the fear for the people close to me's lives. What i mean by the fear of myself is basically the same as what i put under trust. im scared of myself screwing up as i seem to do so often. By fear of those important to me's lives is pretty straight forward i think. its basicaly why i freak out when Dan goes out with his friends or anything like that. im just worried about him. its NOT that i dont trust him... i do. im just scared.
15) NEGATIVITY: well, i used to be pretty possitive. like i believed in my fairytale and finding prince charming and the fact that there are such things as happy endings. but iv been hurt enough times to flip my perspective of that matter around 180'. I dont like believing in the white horse and being saved from an evil demon or whatever. because i have far too many demons to be saved from and i cant expect any guy to be able to fight them all away, though it would mean the world to me.
16) GUILT: story of my life. i do something wrong, i realise it and i never EVER forgive myself... Hence this list. i can let go of things that others do to me but i cant find it within me to forgive the one person im supposed to care the most for... me.
17) KEEPING UP: this is one thing iv never been able to do. everyone around me grows and learns things and moves upwards while i always feel like iv achually just been left behind. its so wierd and i never know how to grow in my own way yet hold onto the people i love
18) DEPRESSION: I am exhuasted from bashing myself down now so this is my last one for today. This developes from all of the above combined together... so yeah. gonna go lie down or something.

**MORE COMING SOON IF YOURE INTERESTED**

ASSHOLES!!!

This is my angry blog. my "i dont give a fuck what you idiot think of me im just gonna say exactly what i feel about you right here and hope you somehow stumble over this and get the picture that its you but wont be able to pick a fight with me because youll have no evidence that this is me" blog. so here i go

JODI: You are a hoe. Hence the reason i have renamed you... "hoe-di" This is a nice compilation of what you are (a hoe) and what id like you to do (Die).
JAMES: Hide behind your religion however much you like, but faking being a good person is not going to get you into heaven you dousch. My boyfriend is your best friend and the least you can do is pretend to like me for his sake. Just because i dont get on with hoe-di (since she betrayed my trust and tried to steal my boyfriend) doesnt mean you can be a dick to me and hate you. this doesnt involve you and your stupid little comments, since, guess what? YOU ARE AN IDIOT! yes , people may pretend to like you but that only because if they dont, youll judge them. so take your stupid little comments and shove them up that stupid contradicting hypocritical ass hole of yours and get the fuck out of my life.
JESS: Oh if only everyone was as perfect as you... haha please. i think i just threw up a little in my mouth. THis little slut here wrote my boyfriend a very sweet little note when we got back together... all about how happy he was without me and how he made a mistake getting back with me. and all he did was defend her... wow.. how nice.

Thus ending this hours rant. thank you

Hehe

I LOVE MY DANNY!!!!

Hot and cold

Gosh! What a crap day! Alex (my one friend) was being suuuuuch a bitch. like shell be down and ill ask her whats wrong and shell ignore me and ill leave her alone and then she complains that i dont care about her... I JUST CANT WIN???!!! She is so wierd.
going through my usual "what religion?" thing i usually go through. like i told my school priest that i have bad dreams and he went all creepy on me and said i need to "scream out the name of the lord jesus" and all that and i dunno if i believe in the christian faith. I need sooooo many answers before i can commit myself to ANY religion. heres the promised piccies...

Halloweeeeeeen paaartaaaay

Im so bored right now. Were building so im stuck in one room with nothing but a dying cellphone (so no mxit!) and this computer... im stuck here for like 2 hours! it was 3 but its gone down a bit thank the great spaghetti monster (:

Had SUCH fun at megs house on saturday night... she had a halloween paaaartaaaaay and it was just a few of us and we watched scary movies until midnight... i snuggled up to danny pretending to be scared! And then there was a storm so that was extrememly well timed and it added to the creepyness! And then we went for a dark around megsies garden in the mist... it was so romantic and so mysterious...

Peace out

WHeeheee

Hmmmm.... Cows. Yes, you heard me... COWS!

rawrr..

sheeesh. I hate being such a klutz. I just walked into my room thinking "what can i blog about today?" and being so lost in my own world, i walked straight into a random table. (god knows where it came from) i dont know why everything always gets dumped in my room. Its a big enough mess as it is... Hmm. school today was a total waste of time (besides obviously History and english). teachers just dont seem to see that no matter how much they bitch and whine, 99% of the time we really really dont care... i cant wait until next year when i can drop the crap and swim around in glorious pool of my three favourite subjects: Art, Technical drawing and history.

It really really was a strange day though.. fought with dan (though when dont i? ): ) and just fulled the rest of it with usual dweeb talk with my delightfully random friends. Megs and i spent most of the day drawing suicidal bunnies and shaved llamas. Didnt make our darling teachers too happy but i think theyve learned by now that theres no way they can stop us and our uniquenessnessness.

Anyways, plinky plonk time.
Cheri oh..

My drawings...

Just some of my random drawings cuz im not really having a typey kinda day so ill do the "express your inner soul with art" thing... yeah...

wow i havent done this in ages!

This is just a dress i tried on and LOVED!!! But it was faaar too expensive

Got my laptop to work eventually (: this blog is basically just to put up some pics of my last few weeks since im not really in the mood to type my usual million words! so here goes, hobos. hehe wtf?

FINALLY I CAN BLOG!!!!!

WOOWWWWEEEE its been ages... or so it seems. my stupid laptop just had to die, didnt it? and this page is too big to get on my cellphone. yesterday was so nice... i was lying around n my bed and the intercom did its usual "bing bong" so i went to the gate to see who it was... and it was dan... he had a giant bunch of roses (: AND THEY WERE FOR ME!!! He just gave me a nice big kiss, told me he loved me and ran away! it was adorable ... such a sweetie pie

NOOOO!!!

My bloody laptop blew up! (and then i held a funeral for it) so no more home blogging for me! Sorry readers who consist of noone (:

So yeah... from now on i will blog whenever im in class... goodbye laptop. i loved you so

long time no blog

todays pic is simply because i find it funny...


Havent blogged in a few days... been hectically busy. Im feeling so over everything lately... its like i go to school and im so unhappy. so appathetic for lack of better word...





Havent really been up to much in the last couple of days. did our history evening thing for our projects on thursday, it was cool. Went to dans yesterday... it was really nice. we went with his mom to some complex place and we just lay around *ahem* watching tv *ahem* and then we went pillow shopping... doesnt sound that fascinating but it wasnt that bad... we had icecreams so we chased eachother around the shops like four year olds shoving our icecreams in eachothers faces. we were both very chocolatey by the end of it... his mom just sighed...





school today was crap we didnt do much... besides millions of tests. SO OVER FUCKING SCHOOL!!!

School??? Hahaha I think not

Not at school today cuz i really didnt want to be. I never take off days cuz as dan would say im a hypeRcondriac which basically means i deny the fact that im sick when i am. I just dont really like people fussing and asking me if im okay... like if i cry at school which i try and avoid doing but i sometimes (okay quite a bit) snap and basically all i want is to sit on my own and cry i dont want people surrounding me asking whats wrong cuz then i get angry and cant get all my hurt out... I prefer blogging cuz everyone just reads my diary. it drives me insane... but they all just read it. and some things i dont want any of my school friends to know cuz theyll send me to therapy! But i dont need therapy. I just need noone to understand me. I dont get what i mean by that but i guess in a way i get a thrill from the fact that my friends have no idea what im on about or what im going to do next... my days are fulled with evil plans and thoughts that noone will ever be able to understand...besides dan... he gets me (most of the time, besides when im being a phycho bitch which i have to admit is a lot) but yeah... other than that he gets me. i guess i should put a pic of us up... so here it is (:
HES SO CUTE!!! only prob with this pic is that my elf ears are sticking out! but they make me me so its okay...

Haha unlucky unsick people

I chose this pic for this blog entry cuz its me and my best friend in our school uniforms and this post is basically about blogging... back when i had braces!
EEK!!!

Call me a freak, call me what you will... i love being off school sick for quite a few reasons. these being


1. today i had an Economics test i didnt learn for so i got out of that one


2. I get to laugh at all my unlucky sucker friends who had to act awake in class today


3. Its a freaking cold day and id rather be lying in bed blogging than sitting in class in a stupid school skirt freezing my ass off





"and i will pull the trigger..." Listening to flyleaf. soooo cool. I like "so sick", "carrie" and "sorrow" the most...





I went to school for a bit this morning. but i kinda got over it cuz i had already spent my one break with dan (he spends the other one with his friends otherwise they get all pathetic and moan about how he "keeps ditching" them even though he spends every single class with them and none with me) so i couldnt be bothered sitting in class being miserable about being ditched for the entire rest of the day. SO i came home and here i am now... I really want some tea at this very second, but i cant get any cuz im far too lazy to walk all the way downstairs to get some. i need a kettle in my room... (hint hint nudge nudge birthday pressie even though my birthdays gone and was crappy as hell but whatever)

BLog the whatever number it is now

Heres my doggie, spec. she reminds me of Eeyore when she sits like that...


Today was a bare improvement of yesterday with one or two "lets all jump off a cliff" moments but otherwise it was passable... Got detention along with the rest of my class today cuz we cant shut up... argued with the teacher but she got even more angry so its definately on!!! Not that im gonna show up or anything. Stupid whore... ANyways, doing a wierd project on St lucia. amped cuz im with my two mates, Jean and Josh. Hope josh keeps his hands to himself cuz hes got a crush on me and loves "by mistake" touching me...





"Never understood how she could


Mean so little to so many...


Why does she mean everything to me?


IS it worth the pain? With noone to blame?


For all of my insecurities


Why did i ever let you gO?"


I lOvE bIlLy TaLeNt!!!





CHeers non-exhistent readers

Crap day

Today was really really really crap

the reason for todays crapiocity was basically everything... started with me doing my usual wake up thinking "i dont wanna live today", took my usual shower, had tea and went to school. THen we had to do a stupid test thing in the hall and i started chocking and then got a nose bleed. at least i got out of sitting in there and i ended up bunking the rest of the test thing sitting in the bathroom.

I just want dan and me to be happy like we were before everything happened, i guess this is the part where i have to explain what happened between us... Well we had been dating for a year, two months and nine days (yes, i counted) and i thought everything was perfect... i was happy and i was pretty sure that he was too. Until he broke up with me. twice... well yeah. then a month later he wanted me back and even after so long of being soooo depressed i decided to take him back. But i made him wait of course. until his birthday which is when i told him i wanted to get back together. but today he told me all of the reasons why he broke it off... and thinking back they were all true. (total confidence crusher but i dont matter with this) and so theres a lot im gonna have to change if i want to make this work. He says i must just be myself but who the fuck am i? seriously i feel so worthless. i dont even know what makes me happy anymore.

Bored!!!!

Yes fellow earthlings... I AM BACK!!! I get so over being so over blogging so i get over getting over it and so i get over not blogging. That made sense in my head... as my dear darling boyfriends face book status states,

"...is happy cuz he will soon be happy! Hey, it made more sense in my head"

Damn straight it made more sense in his head, that dude is crazy off the rail, chain and cherry chapstick Katie whoever she is licked off that poor unsuspecting victim, it off anything i guess. iv lost track of what im talking about... im so strange, yes indeed....

My random freaks

Heres a random pic of me and my friends and not quite friends... on the far left are 2 people i dont know but then are bela, viki and Claire is not here!!!! Buma... (claire typed that...please, every pic is better without her!!!) 4 random guys and then megs, me (in the random pink (why the hell am i wearing pink, i hate pink!) clothes with wierd bobbles on my head) and then damian and Then Alex... this was at the beginning of the year before i apparently went "wierd and creepy" well screw them wierd and creepy people rock!!!

Afrikaans for the loss

Greeting readers...

Though im pretty sure i dont have any readers as this blog is very new and not very interesting...

"time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana"

Yes i am crazy. Afrikaans makes me this way... Im so bored and over this lesson that i shall just sit and blog while people all around me sit there wondering "what the hell is she up to now?" well heres what im up to. Im sitting in front of a computer screen sick as hell bearly breathing wondering how much longer this lesson has of it... oh and im listening to claire (my afrikaans buddy) mumble on about how stupid she is cuz she cant glue something... yeah that makes so much sense...

"I cannot leave here i cannot stay... forever haunted more than afraid...Asphixiate on words i would say...im drawn to a blackened sky as i turn blue.. there are no flowers no not this time therell be no angels gracing the lines just these dark words i find...id show a smile but im too weak id share with you could i only speak, just how much this HURTS ME!!!"

My favourite song... its "this time imperfect" by afi...its just so real... anyways... ill probaly end up blogging again but in the mean time chow for now earthlings!! xx

Blog the first

So here i am, blog number one... im in class right now "doing my history project"...we gotta do something on a mystery person... were doing Jamie Olver... (we being my two mates, Damian and Megs)

Damian and i have been in school together for nine years, whereas megs and i have only known eachother for two... Oh yeah!

Hahaha well wellcome to the chronicles of jen... i am extremely strange and youll probal find my way of writing rather disturbing! Well youre on my page now, the page of no return!